Good Christ, what a god-awful piece of shit that was. You think there’d be no surprise there, but every had told me it was better than The Phantom Menace, so I was lulled into a sense of false security.

TPM was a bad film, but it at least understood that its purpose was Spectacle. There were plenty of impressive visuals scattered throughout – even when I was cringing at the dialogue, or getting annoyed with the small child, there was something pretty and new on the screen. Not so in this film – there were a couple, but nothing that really excited me. The actoors were phoning it in, at best, the special effects were frankly, dull, and at no point did the film raise even a small thrill in me. Even the much-vauted lightsabre duel at the end of it was dull. Roll on Spider-man. It has to be better.