Humbug I say! Christmas is cancelled. Return to work. Cease all festive activity. We’re a shitty species, and we don’t deserve a happy fucking holidays.

As you’ll have gathered, holiday mirth has fled my bones. This is because I had to give a statement to the police on my way to work this morning. I hoped on my bus, running only slightly late, full of seasonal goodwill – I finish at lunchtime, after which I shall go shopping for festive foodstuff and a last couple of things, and then I’m on holiday until the 5th, so you’d think it’d take more than a slightly crappy busride to dampen my good spirits – I’m used to those, after all.

What I got today was a testament to the depth of human malice and apathy. So, I’d been on the bus for 10-15 minutes, and we’re just passing where I used to live when a couple get on the bus, and sit on the top deck, at the back, a row or so behind me. Whereupon they proceed to have a row. Well, rather, he proceeds to harrangue her, some something involving a mobile phone. His every third word was fuck or cunt. This was pretty shitty, and everyone on the top deck was shifiting uncomfortably in their seats.

I’d like to say I was on the verge of saying something to him as a result of this, and maybe I was, but I honestly think it’s more likely that, like everyone else, I’d have sat there uncomfortably while he continued to berate her, because I’m not really any different to the rest of the toerags on the bus, but as I was sitting there uncomfortably, thinking that maybe I should say something, he hit her.

Backhanded her across the face, to be exact.

That rather made my decision for me – so, hoping the someone else would step in to stop anything else, I went downstairs and had a word with the bus driver, and got him to call for the police. Which naturally meant that we sat for quite a while halfway along the route. As far as I could tell no-one upstairs had stepped in, because he was still berating her when I got back to my seat, although he managed to restrain himself form hitting her again, thank fuck.

Eventually, the police turned up, and after a brief scene he was escorted off the bus, and I gave a short statement to the officers. Seeing me talking to them, he put two and two togther, and has threatened to find out where I live and fuck me up, but I’m a bit more worried about what he’ll do to the poor girl now, who really wasn’t happy to see the police.

So between this arsehole, wondering if I did the right thing, and the colossal indifference of the public on the bus (up to and including the living shit who complained to the driver about the interruption to his journey), I have no more goodwill toward mankind left, and am forced to declate the festive season at a premature end. I would say I’m sorry, but it ain’t me who failed to display any goodwill toward my fellow man.