| Abortion?: | Personally, I think it ought to be mandatory, but I accept that that’s not going to popular, so we’ll leave it at pro-choice. |
| Death Penalty?: | Against, altough I’ll make an expection for people I don’t like, or people who might do something amusing when there’s ten gazillion volts running though them. |
| Prostitution?: | Legalised, unionised, regulised. I know that’s not a word, but I thought it was better than coining legalated and unionated. |
| Alcohol?: | I’m very fond of it. |
| Marijuana?: | Bores the tits off me, but if tobacco and alcohol are going to be legal, then there’s not much of an argument for keeping it illeagal. |
| Other drugs?: | Also mostly very boring. At least as long as they’re criminal there’s sexy danger involved, which makes them a bit more interesting. |
| Gay marriage?: | Sure. Personally, I think that we’d be better off scrapping the various benefits for marriages/civil unions, and just allow everyone to designate one partner as the one who gets the tax breaks and all the rest of the usual benefits, and cut out all the needless ceremony and emphasis. |
| Illegal immigrants?: | Well, I’m going to need someone to clean the house, aren’t I? |
| Smoking?: | I’m jealous. |
| Drunk driving?: | Bastardry. |
| Cloning?: | The world needs more of me. I’m all for it. |
| Racism?: | Yeah, sure. If it floats your boat. But if you discrimiate against others, then it ought to belegal to discriminate against you, with steel toecaps. |
| Premarital sex?: | I would like to have more of it. |
| Religion?: | Well, it’s a bit late to do anything about it now, sadly. |
| The war in Iraq?: | Look, I’m a right-thinking hippy left liberal. Do we need to go into this? |
| Bush?: | I really like him. For a performing monkey, he’s pretty impressive. |
| Downloading music?: | I download from several paid-for sources, and have mighty love for them, but I don’t download illeagally. |
| The legal drinking age?: | Personally, I think we should lower it to 16, 14 with parental consent. |
| Porn?: | I have no problem with most other forms of sexual expression, why would I have a problem with porn? |
| Suicide?: | Well, it’s handy for getting rid of the whiny people. But I don’t condone it. |