I quit smoking four years ago. I do still scam the odd fag off people when very hammered, but I haven’t bought a packet of cigarettes in over four years. And while I admit that yes, I’d love to start smoking again, because I absolutely refuse to become of these tedious ex-smokers who’re suddenly even more puritanical than non-smokers, and because the only reason I quit was for the sake of my health, not because I suddenly didn’t like it. If it there were a pill to sort out the health problems that smoking causes, I’d light up again just as soon as I could by a pack.

But still, it’s been four years. I’ve got it pretty well beaten now. I’m a non-smoker, and I can go whole weeks without ever thinking about how I’d like to smoke.

But tonight, sitting here at my computer, stone cold sober, I really, really want a cigarette. Really want one. I don’t think I’ve had a craving like this since about six months after I quit. It’s deeply fucking strange, to tell you the truth. But what it mostly is, is utterly bastard infuriating.